Saturday, August 13, 2005

The List

Recently I decided that it is about time I made a list of things that need to change in my life. A reflection one lonely night as I sat here by myself made me ponder the things that make me unhappy. First I decided is that I need to get in shape. Now by body is set for someone with very broad shoulders and for my height it is fairly akward, at least to me it seems. So my first goal is of course to lose weight and tone everythig up in proportion to the rest of me. This is spurred by the fact that most men peak in their best physical condition at age 23. That is a mere 7 months away for me and if this is the best, then the worst will be really ugly.

The second thing I need to do is be a little more brazen. Say what is on my mind more in public and to people around me. For example, asking a woman on a date is quite hard for me, and then even getting to open up takes quite a bit of time and stumbling around to open up. Simple things become imeasurably hard for me in areas like this and I need to teach myself to be less of a public speaker and more of a private conversationalist.

Third, I need to stop relying on peoples thoughts of me for my ego. I need to re-affirm that I can and I will alone be my own source of pride in the universe.

Next is probably going to be difficult for me, but I need to start taking care of things that are mine to take care of. For example, I tend to let my car get quite messy. Last time I moved I left 2 boxes of stuff that I didn't need in my car and now that I am moving again this odd sense of having a clean car because I am removing these materials kind of gets to me.

I will probably end up adding to this list, but these are the big 4 and probably the best focus areas.
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